Top Ten Things Iraq's Information Minister Has To Say About The War

10. "We're pulling down the statues of Saddam to have them cleaned"

9. "Don't believe that stuff you see on CNN...or NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox or MSNBC"

8. "If you ask me who the winner is, it depends on what your definition of 'is' is"

7. "Iraqi television is off the air because we didn't want you to have to sit through 'Becker'"

6. "Do you know of any job openings for a lying weasel?"

5. "Wolf Blitzer and I are engaged"

4. "Iraqis are in the streets celebrating Cher's 40 fabulous years in show business"

3. "Incoming!"

2. "Saddam's not dead -- he's just out with a case of the shingles"

1. "War? What war?"