Ok, ok...
Here's the deal:
The story is no longer Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
It is now Frosty Bitter Wench and the Seven Demented Midgets.
The midgets (in order of appearance) are:
1. Doofy
2. Fugly
3. Scuzzy
4. Skanky
5. Herpes
6. Corpulent
7. Flaccid (sp?)

This fairy tale comes complete with illustrations (which may be scanned in for your viewing pleasure).